Is internet porn harming men’s chances of having a happy sex life?

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There’s a fascinating article on the changing sexual problems facing men by Steve Biddulph in Australia’s The Age newspaper this week.

We’d love to hear more experts talking about men and sex at the National Conference for Men and Boys this year, so if this is your area of expertise then do get in touch.

And if you want to make sure you get your tickets today then remember you can buy them online now.

Biddulph, who is well known for his books about men and boys, says it’s a “tough balance, to both affirm and yet guard sexuality”.

When he first wrote Raising Boys in 1997, Biddulph says he was acutely conscious of the harm done to men by the prudish and repressive atmosphere around sexuality in the second half on the 20th Century.

Biddulph says he wanted to help achieve better relations between the sexes by restoring a healthy and life-affirming openness, with better information about how our bodies worked and why. He wanted to support parents to raise boys who weren’t repressed and were able to develop “a happy and life-affirming sense” of the joy of a healthy sex life.

“With just a word or two of understanding….parents could let their sons know that they weren’t perverts or sex maniacs for thinking about sex an awful lot of the time,” says Biddulph.

It’s 16 years since Biddulph first published Raising Boys and now he’s concerned about the the lasting harm that internet porn could have on the next generation of boys and girls.

“Porn naturally fascinates because it’s sex and that is wired into all of us,” says Biddulph. “But the subtext of domination, rape, humiliation, hurt or even killing that is now woven into much available pornography, let alone the absence of tenderness or respect in almost all of it, shapes the sexuality of boys in ways that endanger their chances of a happy sex life in the real world.

“My books now carry a really different message,” he adds. “Yes, affirm your teenager as a sexual person, and encourage their privacy and right to feel happy about desire and release. But don’t let mid-teen boys or younger surf the internet in their bedrooms. The chances of getting hooked on uglier and crueller porn, distorting and disturbing their faith in human warmth and lovingness, and becoming disabled around normal healthy girls, is increasingly high.

Read Biddulph’s full article how to raise boys in the era of internet porn

You can find out more Biddulph’s work at the Steve Biddulph website

To come and talk about sex—or whatever else is of interest to you—at the Third National Conference or men and boys—buy your ticket today.

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